How Mindful Eating Can Impact Your Work with Children
Given that we eat multiple times a day, every single day of our lives, it makes sense that food would be an important part of life. However, for some kids and teens, the idea of food as fuel gets lost along the way and they end up with issues around eating. Sometimes that looks like eating too much, stress-eating and so on. And sometimes it looks like avoiding food, being a picky eater, seeing food as ‘bad’ and more.
Why eating issues in children need to be taken seriously
If this feels concerning, it should be. Kids who are already showing signs of eating issues early in life are being set up for future problems that are much more severe, like obesity or eating disorders. Often, it’s not the child’s fault at all. If they live with parents who are fixated with diet culture and weight loss, they’ll start embodying those messages that are reinforced daily. If they’re watching TV where their favorite character is mocked for being fat, they’ll take those messages on too. If they’re being mocked at school for their size, whether big or small, that’s coming home with them each day.
As therapists, one of the best tools we can try to impart to our young clients is mindful eating, a practice that helps children become aware of their hunger cues, appreciate food for what it is and can do for us and develop a balanced relationship with eating. Mindful eating helps children learn to trust their body and the signals it provides. It also cuts down on emotional eating and promotes self-regulation.
How eating problems manifest in children
Miles* loves food and might even be a chef one day. His parents love talking about how he’s been food-obsessed, even when he was a baby. “You should have seen the day this kid discovered ice cream,” his mother told me, laughing. “He couldn’t get enough!”
“Couldn’t get enough” ended up being Miles’* story. As a toddler, his tantrums were treated with snacks, usually fried or sugary. As he got older, his parents, both on the heavier side themselves, indulged his requests for dessert after dinner each night.
Miles* came to me after his parents thought therapy would be useful to help with his anxiety. It turned out that Miles* was being bullied at school, made fun of for being the slowest kid running track during sports and being out of breath every time he had to make it up the stairs at his middle school. His parents were adamant that they didn’t want to make their child feel like he had to lose weight but didn’t know how else to approach it.
I suggested mindful eating as an avenue to explore, especially after it became apparent that Miles* was completely out of touch with his hunger cues. He didn’t eat when hungry. He ate when he felt like enjoying a certain flavor and it was always available in his abundant kitchen at home. Over time, we went through various strategies that he can use to become more aware of his hunger and decide what he needs to satiate it.
I also worked with his parents, helping them implement healthier food habits at home, since they were reinforcing all kinds of problems without even realizing it. Miles* has lost a bit of weight since we’ve started, even though I’m not a dietician and that isn’t our goal. The weight loss is a side effect of him thinking before he eats, tapping into mindfulness and eating with purpose.
Another therapist I know had a client on the other side of the spectrum, named Elaine*. Elaine’s* mother was a former ballerina and was very proud of the fact that she still fit into her jeans from high school – her mother told her so. Elaine* had a dance event coming up and was worried about looking fat in her leotard, even though she was skin and bones. Her mother described her daughter’s undereating as her just being ‘picky’, but it soon became clear that Elaine* could eat most foods – texture, taste, etc wasn’t an issue for her. She just wouldn’t allow herself to do it.
Her teachers complained that Elaine* was always tired in class and would make snide comments about her friends eating during lunch, while barely picking at the single piece of fruit she’d packed in her own lunchbox. She’d say things to them like “a moment on the lips and a lifetime on the hips” and “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” – problematic statements for a twelve year old. “No carbs!” she’d say, when birthday cake was handed around.
When my therapist friend spoke to Elaine’s* mother, she was devastated. She had no idea how much her own fixation with her size had been imparted to her child who was undernourished and fatigued at school each day. The therapist and Elaine’s* mother started working together to implement ways that she and her daughter could bring a healthier mindset to food at home.
Elaine’s* mother was unwilling to alter her own habits but she understood the importance of helping her daughter meet her nourishment needs each day. She started monitoring her language and gave her daughter praise when she ate more.
These are just two kids I’ve come across, directly and indirectly, who have trouble with food, albeit in different ways. The more therapists I meet, the more I realize just how much eating issues are manifesting in our various practices.
Bringing mindful eating into your practice
The first thing to do is familiarize yourself with mindful eating principles and strategies. The Mindful Kids Mindful Eating workbook is a great place to start, since it has ready-to-go activities that are explained super simply. The section with parents is also incredibly helpful, since most of a child’s eating happens at home.
It can even be helpful to eat with children in your practice, after checking with parents that they’re okay with it and confirming any potential allergies. Helping a child consume a snack while monitoring hunger cues, using breathing techniques and mindfully honing in on the taste, texture, sight and sounds that the food has might feel strange initially, but over time, has a positive impact.
Remember, mindful eating is a lifestyle practice that takes time to create. One doesn’t become a mindful eater overnight. Time and consistency is essential to make a difference in your young clients so they can become happier, healthier kids and grow into adults who have a good relationship with food.
